Respect

My Fire Chief dad’s first black and female hires

RacismToday we hear all about wokeism, diversity and equity hiring, and training, rainbows, gender-fluid, pronouns, and more. When I was in school in the late 60’s to mid 70’s (high school and college), the controversies were about “Affirmative Action” and “School Bussing”. This post focuses on my Fire Chief Dad’s first black and female hires and asks the question, was he racist and/or sexist?

My high school was the only larger public high school in the city and, so, was already completely integrated as it took in all from a community of just under 100,000. The elementary schools, on the other hand, experienced bussing first as those in the inner city schools and the outer city schools (we really didn’t have suburbia in Covington) were moved around.

I supported (and still do) the concept. Implementation, in some cases, was problematic, including my dad’s work situation. He was one of three “Chiefs” for a Fire Department that had about 10 ‘houses’ throughout the city. Keep in mind that this story was involving new concepts. The question…. was my dad racist or sexist? My answer…..ummmmm somewhat, but not blatantly. See how he dealt with an issue of each.


Fire house
The main Fire Station #1 in Covington, KY., a city that had about 10 stations. This one originally had horse-drawn apparatus. Was replaced in 1975.

Phil Gardner, was a fireman for about 32 years and I grew up around the firehouse. My first memories were of an old firehouse built originally for horse-drawn equipment. The sleeping quarters were on the second floor. When an alarm sounded, the men would slide down the pole landing next to one of the trucks.

Since it was a job where he was on duty for 24hrs and then off for 48, we would sometimes visit him at work. I remember getting to sit in the driver’s seat and pull the cord that rang the bell as well as in the seat atop the rear ladders of the “hook and ladder” truck. Eventually, he was one of the three deputy “chiefs” (each had a ‘shift’) of a moderately large fire department in Covington, Kentucky.

Fire house
Replacement “Company 1” opened in 1975.

He moved into the new station in 1975.

Anywhere in the city in 90 seconds

He claimed that he could have someone on the scene anywhere in the city 90 seconds after an alarm from one of the city’s 10 firehouses.

I saw that first hand once as my siblings and I were in the firehouse as an alarm sounded. His instruction was to “stand over there against the wall RIGHT NOW and I’ll have someone come and get you”. As the firehouse PA system was announcing the location and description, 8 firehouse doors were going up, firefighters were scrambling, engines were starting and in about 15-20 seconds, the chief car, ambulance, rescue truck, pumper, and ladder truck were GONE. One of the dispatchers had us come in and spend time with him until our mother could arrive to take us home.

He was not afraid of controversy. At different times in his job as one of the chiefs, Dad was accused of both racism and sexism.

Hiring the first Black

During the time of “Affirmative Action” and “School Bussing”, when the city asked why dad didn’t have any blacks on the force, he replied that they hired from those who passed the fireman’s test. He was ordered to re-write the test. ….and then to re-write the test a second time, and a third time. He then refused to continue to modify the test, which he insisted was about finding out what someone knew about fire and he didn’t want to send people into burning buildings who didn’t understand what they were up against.

When he hired an African-American, he told me about his first conversation with a guy who eventually became a strong friend.

“I want you to know that you’re a rookie on this shift. You’re not a black rookie, you’re a rookie. You’re going to scrub the tires on the trucks, not because you’re black, but because you’re a rookie. You’re going to get to wash the trucks because you’re a rookie. There are a lot of grunt jobs around here that you are going to have to do because you are a rookie. They are the same jobs I had to do when I was a rookie and which every other man on this force had to do as a rookie. I will treat you the same way I treat everyone else on this force, and will expect respect in return. Oh, and another thing. You need to trim your hair, not because you’re black, but because if you go into a burning building with that Afro sticking out the bottom of a helmet, you’re gonna burn. So just to make sure that we understand each other, if you don’t show me your ‘black power’ (common phrase at that time), I won’t show you my white (i.e. I’m the fire chief) power.”

Their friendship lasted decades.


Hiring the first Woman

He was also in charge when they wanted to start hiring women. He fought it but eventually lost. His reasoning:

“Other than the fact that you’re requiring me to build another restroom,  shower/locker area, and sleeping quarters in this building without giving me any additional space in which to do it, I have no problem with any female firefighter who can get all the hair under the helmet, can hold a hose with high-pressure water coming out and can climb out of an upper story window with a 250-pound person of dead weight on her shoulder as she climbs down the ladder.”


I’d appreciate honest, respectful feedback…..

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Make yourself valuable

College prepI was in 9th grade when my band director, who had heard I wanted to be a band director, pulled me aside to tell me that 1) being a band director would require going to college, 2) my family couldn’t afford it, and 3) he had a way, “make yourself valuable”.

My parents divorced my 7th grade year. Dad was a firefighter and Mom, a polio survivor, was left raising five kids….I was the oldest.

Mr. Copenhaver emphasized that my grades weren’t good enough for academic scholarships and pointed out that I wasn’t athletic, so he told me the only way I would get there was to be good enough at something that a school would pay for me to come. He said I was decent on clarinet and suggested I focus on that. I had 4yrs to prepare. He helped me get 1-1 instruction with the best teacher in the region, to attend summer camps at two universities, to partipcate in band clinics, solo/ensemble festivals and honor bands — for both the experience and the exposure. It worked. I made myself valuable.

I did have a loan (don’t remember the amt). Of course, the number was lower, but my first teaching job only paid about $10k, so all the numbers were lower. I had on and off-campus jobs, including (for a while) a 3rd shift cleaning job at a restaurant and a job I went to over breaks and around summer schedules. I rode my bike about 3-4 miles to an area high school 2-3 times a week to work with about 15 students until I got my first car in time for student teaching.

I do remember learning how to pay my bills, including deciding which ones I could pay after each teaching paycheck. I get that.

Are there problems with the system today? Absolutely. College prices are outrageous. When our younger son was in school, their prices increased $1000/yr — and are now double what they were when we were dealing with them. Schools can raise their fees because loan-makers make it easy to get higher loans to pay the higher fees. Many universities (including state schools) have billions (with a B) endowments. They could go tuitionless for at least several years. Meanwhile, the cycle keeps going.

The contractor we hope will soon get us on his schedule is driving a truck I could never afford. He told me he dropped out of college when he figured out that, instead of debt, he could quickly be making more than he would make with the degree he was working on. A military recruiter told our band class that going his route could enable someone to have 6-figures in the bank instead of 6-figures in debt.

I would hope we can find a way to help the needy without just transferring that obligation to those who couldn’t go to college or who went to trade school (and borrowed money for buildings, vehicles, tools, etc) or into the military instead.

Blanket cancellations (which I know this is not): the SCHOOL wins because they got their money and can now raise prices again, the LOAN-MAKERS win because they can make bigger loans.

Somebody a lot smarter than me is going to have to figure it out. I do not believe it is an easy solution.

If you want to respectfully respond, even to disagree, feel free. If you’re going to call me a non-Christian, selfish or some of the other names I’ve been called (like these twitter responses):

Selfish shell fish
Special snowflake
Ignorant to the rest of the world
Sweetie
Conversation of which I know nothing
You ASSume things
smarmy asshats
I looked at your profile pic (old, fat, bald)

…then please don’t bother.

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Now, it is YOUR turn

Band EncouragementAlmost every year that I taught, I had variations of the same conversation, usually during a spring semester, when a normal realization from some talented, top quality, mature bandsters are sadly realizing that some of their friends and the ensemble’s leaders are (or will be) gone…. During their band lives, they had tended to ‘hang out’ with those in upper grades.

This is a call for NEW leaders to step up. 

If this note is speaking to you it is a compliment. As you think back during your earlier years, there were upper-level students who accepted you into their friend circles, right? Those became strong and meaningful relationships and you gained from their experience and insight – and from their friends.

Some of those friends have graduated or will before you do, and that saddens you. They are moving on and you’ll miss them. You look at those in younger classes who maybe don’t (yet) show the qualities you admired in your older friends.

Now it is YOUR TURN to be the mature mentor for those younger, including incoming newbies. You know what it takes, better than they. So my question for you is, what are you going to do about it?

Perhaps you feel a little inadequate like you’re not as ‘good’ as your mentors. You know what I think? I think you ARE. As you step into the leadership role, you know what I think? I think you CAN.

If this note seems like I’m writing it specifically to you, then you probably have already been a “step it up” kinda person. That’s one of the reasons you’ve been comfortable around those older. Now it is YOUR TURN to step into major leadership; to replace those who are leaving and to set the tone for those coming in and for those who are already looking up to you. NOW IT IS YOUR TURN! YOU’RE READY. BE A LEADER. BE A MENTOR. BE A FRIEND….and we’ll all be the better for it, including YOU!

Band encouragementLove, Admiration & Respect,

Signature

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Hillbilly Elegy and How We Did It

all quoted from a collegiate presentation called, “How We Did It” that I made to parents several times when I was teaching. All text is from “Hillbilly Elegy”.

Years ago, my son gifted me a book, “Hillbilly Elegy” by J.D. Vance. His was a more extensive experience of poverty than mine. I grew up in northern Kentucky while his Appalachian upbringing was a little over 100 miles away….from an area with a genuine Kentucky hillbilly life. I’m glad I didn’t have a foul-mouthed grandmother or drug-user family members in my family … but there were aspects of his young life that had recognizable similarities to mine.

How you can go from that to graduating Ohio State in 2 yrs and Yale is an impressive success story.
I’ve seen attack media describe his book as mediocre and that he maligned poor people — WRONG… he was describing his reality. And the book was made into a movie. (I liked the book better)
I used quotes from one page of his book in my “How We Did It” Collegiate presentation I gave to students/parents while I was teaching, because I totally agree with, and experienced via my younger son, the fact that you don’t have to be rich to get into a top-tier university.
With our younger son getting into a top-tier undergrad school and then an Ivy League grad school, our experience was in the same universe as Vance’s, hence my use of this quote from his book.

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Secret Service Encounters

With all the attention on the Secret Service at the Trump rally in Butler, I thought I’d organize some recollections and experiences the few times I’ve been around the Secret Service, including when VP Bush came to announce his running mate, when VP Quayle came to our local parade….and more. I am writing this shortly after the assassination attempt on Donald Trump.

When VP Bush came to announce/introduce his running mate

When Vice President George H.W. Bush chose Dan Quayle to be his running mate, they made the announcement in Huntington. The Secret Service started showing up several days in advance. They were noticed walking around the Courthouse and in/out of the businesses close by.

I was in the small Christian bookstore just across the street from the courthouse a day or so before the visit and commented to the shop owner that she would have a great view. No. The SS had told her to be closed and away from the window several hours prior.

Joan and I joined the huge crowd at the courthouse, including on the railroad tracks (trains all stopped, of course). We could see people on top of buildings with binoculars. Noticing a couple sitting in their apartment building window across the tracks from the courthouse, shortly after I commented about them – they were gone. There must have been SS agents on or in that building.

There were pairs of agents at every corner of the Courthouse roof with their extra large binoculars.

Before they came to the courthouse, the band students and their instruments were searched. A helicopter started flying and hovering as it was announced the VP was about 30 minutes out.

When VP Quayle was in the local parade

They won the election and Quayle announced he would participate in the local parade. Joan and I were on the curb, video camera in hand. About 2-3 times, a pair of Secret Service agents would walk down the edge of the street. A block ahead of the VP was a flatbed truck of photographers followed by the armored car with guys holding the doors open. In between was the VP and his wife.

In front of that, where there had been a single SS agent on each side of the street, there were about a half a dozen, walking in single file along the edge of the street. The SS agent was repeating, “Do NOT step into the street.” A local policeman behind him would then echo with,

“And he means it.”

When VP Quayle visited his parents

These visits were not announced and were not public events. A friend of mine, who lives a moderately short distance from the Quayle home, was on his roof using a nail gun to affix shingles when a SS helicopter hovered over him while agents with binoculars checked out what he was doing.

When VP Biden spoke at our son’s commencement

Our son was receiving his PhD in a commencement ceremony that included over 5,000 undergrads. VP Biden was the keynote speaker. The instructions we received included that we should arrive about three hours early and be in our seats two hours prior. It was in a football stadium, with numerous entrances, all with electronic machines and several SS agents checking purses, bags, and bodies. Since we were in our hot, sunny seats two hours early, there was plenty of time to check out some of the SS preparations, such as:

  • In the Press Box. We were directly across from the press box and could see periodic movement through several windows.
  • On top of the Press Box.
  • At the scoreboard.
  • Several places around the field perimeter and locations throughout the stands.
  • On the platform, in front and behind it. What impressed me most was that all the time we were there, a solitary agent stood watch at the podium on the platform.
  • On buildings adjacent to the stadium.
  • …and probably several places we couldn’t see.

When the procession entered the stadium (University officials, VP Biden, Professors, etc) the SS agents were but a few paces away…enough to escape the pictures, but close enough if needed.


I may add these to my “Stories Through My Ages” memoir…

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You wanted a water break?

Someone tweeted a prompt, “that one time at band camp”. This was my response. Did this several times. Official practice for the fire fighters. Great fun for hot teens during band camp.

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Anniversary

I attribute our 47yr marriage success to three main things

45 Roses

Today is the 45th Anniversary for wife Joan and me. Tomorrow is Father’s Day, which was mentioned in today’s podcast from Morning Wire. They mentioned the difficulty of those growing up without a father in the house, especially when it comes to later maintaining a marriage and family. I come from a broken home. So does Joan. We talked about that during college as we had heard the statistics of what sounded like our marriage would be doomed. And yet, here we are. I attribute our 45yr marriage success to three main things.

We were committed Christians and stayed active in the church, raising our family in the church.

Because we both experienced parents divorcing and the devastating effects that has on the children, we were committed to never letting that happen to our children. We were both at nearly every swim meet, baseball game, theater performance and concerts. There were a few times where we had to split because both boys would have something going on at the same time and sometimes in different cities. But we never just sent them off. We were there.

That we spent so much time working together in small office environments, the types of temptations that seem to creep into a lot of marriages were never present in ours. Neither of us ever considered anyone else. In our first three years of marriage, we taught at the same school and shared an office. Later, after John left education, we shared a business office for over two decades at QDP Corporation.

And we never let anyone tell us how to raise our children. We left education to start our family. Joan wanted to be a stay at home mom. My freedom of schedule allowed me to be at almost every t-ball, baseball, swim meet, and concert that either of our sons was in. I’ll never say we did everything right, but our sons are both successful in what they are doing. They have always, as have we, self-sufficient.

Are we experts? No. But ours has been a successful family for 45 years.

Here’s to 50 years and beyond.

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Bullying, Band and Best Practices

By John Gardner

Bullying In Band

UPDATE: Be sure to read the parent comments at the end of this article.


Over a decade after high school graduation, he told his parents he was bullied as a high school freshman, not telling them at the time because he feared they’d make a big deal of it.

He DID go to a teacher who ignored or brushed aside his emotional plea. In his valedictorian speech at graduation three years later, when he listed the “Top 10 Things I Learned in High School”, one of them was…..

“….that my head really does fit in a gym locker.”

Still no response. This was before all the more recent publicity of the terribly negative lifetime impact that bullying can have….but

…there is no excuse for inaction. EVER!

Fortunately, this story doesn’t end tragically…. but that doesn’t make it right.

Bullying in Band…..surely not, right? …

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Never block a fire truck

Fire trucks getting through
Parking on both sides makes the middle narrow.

I was coming down the one-way street where we live. There is parking on both sides, but that doesn’t leave much room. Years ago, when I had a conversion van, I managed to take off someone’s mirror with mine. (Yes, I dealt with it.)

On this particular trip, in addition to normal cars parked, I encountered a lawn service truck, an Amazon van, a City Truck and one collecting trash…and I barely made it through with my car. I commented in a post that a fire truck wouldn’t make it and was reminded of a couple of Dad’s firetruck stories and events, one courtesy of my sister.

What happens when you block a fire truck?

Fire trucks
Backdraft, a realistic presentation of real fire fighting

The movie, ‘Backdraft’ fascinated me. Dad was a 32-yr veteran firefighter in a full-time city department that had about ten “houses” around town. He was one of three “Chiefs”. He said “Backdraft” was pretty accurately done. I asked about the scene where there is a car parked in front of the hydrant and they break the windows and take the hose through the car.

“We would probably just use the truck to push the car out of the way. The car would be a wreck, but don’t put your car between my truck and our getting to a fire.”

Fire trucks
Dad’s “Company 1” Fire House, @ 1975
Long driveway attracts speeding drivers during the school day
Problematic long driveway at Holmes High School.
Entrance Gate Holmes High School
Entrance gate to Holmes High School. What you can’t see are the iron-works gates that matched the fencing to the right.

What happened when they blocked my Dad’s fire trucks?

Close to that in real life that involved Dad and his trucks happened at my high school around 1980 when my sister was a sophomore. There is a long driveway through the school and at times they would have problems with people speeding through there during school. On one particular day, someone chained shut the large ironworks gate. They weren’t supposed to do that, I’m sure, but those drivers and that long driveway could be disturbing and a safety concern.

There was a fire alarm and Dad was on duty.

When the trucks arrived at the school, they encountered the locked main gate. Guess what they did?

Dad never talked about that story, but sister tells me she remembers faculty talking about the Fire Department “busting the gates down”.

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Riley Gaines podcast with Middle School Athletes

GainesJust listened to a podcast interview https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/gaines-for-girls-with-riley-gaines/id1696360492?i=1000657133794 with four of the five middle school (M.I.D.D.L.E. S.C.H.O.O.L.) girls who stepped out rather than compete against a boy in their track meet’s shot put. The girls were punished and not allowed to compete at (at least) their next meet. The parents have taken the school board to court (in progress). The girls have subsequently been permitted to compete.

The boy has since been accused of sexual harassment. I’m not even going to quote the accusation of what he was going to do to a girl with his non girl body part. If you want to see, here is a link and article… https://x.com/ReduxxMag/status/1789013744812515708

Girls should not have to compete against boys in sports where sex matters. (Compete in band. That is ok.) They should not have to worry about boys in their restrooms and locker rooms. They should not have to endure what these girls described and to be scared in what should be safe spaces.

Why do middle school girls have to be the adults to try to protect themselves and their sport?

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