Social Media

Teens I Admire

By John Gardner

NOTE: I was teaching when I wrote this. I have since retired, so rather than go through and edit what I am doing with what I did do, I’ll just put this disclaimer out there so you know.


Large group of smiling friends staying together and looking at camera isolated on blue backgroundAdults who are afraid of teenagers or who feel like teens of today are nothing like those from their day (adults have been saying that forever, right?) ….. or who think the quality of teens is crumbling….. should come hang out with the teens I get to spend time with.

As a teacher, I can’t use the “love” word, must avoid the “creepy” label (they DO use that word too much), have to be careful how I compliment the way someone looks, and often settle for handshakes and high fives when a good pat on the back or a hug seems so much more appropriate for the circumstance …. but I thoroughly enjoy my time on the school clock. I LOVE the youthful enthusiasm. I ADMIRE their dreams, goals, and aspirations. And I RESPECT those who make the best of their circumstances as they strive for excellence. I am all about encouraging achievers because they allow me into their lives. I “love” this job AND these teens.

My response to the parent who asked recently, “How do you put up with a room FULL of teenagers?” is “I feel sorry for those who DON’T get to experience a room FULL of teenagers.”

Some of the “types” of teens I admire….

I admire teens who thrive because of their parents…

Band students have complicated schedules that can challenge parental patience. There is the expense of instruments and extras (reeds, valve oil, drum sticks) — not to mention private lessons, summer camps, etc. Vacations get adjusted and, especially until the teen can drive, there are countless trips to drop off and pick up.

Some parents sacrifice soooo much in time, energy and money so that their teen can focus on being a better student, athlete, musician, academic or whatever. But all of that is for naught if the teen doesn’t take advantage of it. I admire teens who appreciate what they have and commit themselves to “getting their parents’ money’s worth”.

I admire teens who thrive in spite of their parents.

I was outside Door 34 prior to a rehearsal when she jumped out of the car and ran up to me, crying and wiping tears from her eyes, “G… I’m sorry…..I’m so sorry.” As she ran off into the building I got the impact of her emotion when I saw the approaching papa angrily waving a copy of our schedule.

“How much of this is mandatory?”, he asked angrily

“All of it.”, I responded quietly.

He huffed and puffed and returned to his car. When I walked into the band office, the daughter was waiting for me, tears streaming….wanting to know that I was okay after an encounter with her father. She needed a hug, and I gave her one.

Additional random examples….

“We’re going to pull our son out of band…..his room is a mess.”

“I can’t come to band today. I’m grounded and part of my punishment is whatever consequence I get from you for not being here.”

” He really loves band…..which is why this has to be part of his punishment.”

“She can’t major in color guard in college….so there is no point in the expense for her to be in this activity.”

“My parents took my band card money and my paycheck money. What do I do?”

“Here’s my paycheck to pay you back for letting me go to Disney. I will be able to pay you back from my job over the next three months.” (And did.)

“I have to stop taking private lessons because my dad says if I have money to waste on music lessons that I can pay rent.”

“G, I just got kicked out of my house.”

“Why are you telling my kid (s)he needs extra money for music lessons? Aren’t you the teacher? Why don’t you do what you’re getting paid for?”

“Why should I buy another [instrument]? I bought the one they told me to buy when (s)he started.”

Some of the most determined to succeed band students have parents I never meet. I understand busy and I understand the struggles of single parenthood (there were five kids in my single parent home) and it can be hard….yes, it can be hard. But it is sad sometimes to watch students try not to show disappointment when the parent is not there…. just sayin’.

I admire students who, despite the potential negatives of their circumstances…..are determined to succeed…..

Teens I Admire Read More »

Marching Band Fails

I want to be careful and mindful posting this. As far as I know, no one was hurt. I’ve heard people say marching band is easy. If you say that, you should try it. I mean….out there on the field. For a few years, at the end of Band Camp, we would invite parents to learn a portion of drill with their student. Of course, we didn’t really give them time to learn it because that was not the point. It DID give those parents a new perspective on what their student was doing.
Most of these types of fails would not have happened (often) when I was marching…..but today’s complex drills, fast paces, close intervals and backward marching…. well….
Watch for a laugh……but it is marching season, and KUDOS to the way those in this video responded through their fail.
Go ahead. You can laugh out loud. Then go cheer on a marching band.

 

Marching Band Fails Read More »

Are America’s Classrooms profit centers for the Mental Health Industry?

author of “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up”

I periodically listen to interviews conducted by Marissa Streit, a former classroom teacher. The title of this one caught my eye so I listened. As I did, I noted down some near quotes that I hear. These are not polished…. but give you an idea of the discussion. I didn’t agree with everything said, in particular, the parts about allowing children to walk home alone from school (or have I been affected by the hype?)…. But she kinda answers a thought I’ve had….. Why did we not have these problems, at least as pronounced, when we were kids? I don’t ever remember ‘mental health, PTSD and therapy being nearly as prominent as they seem today. I don’t intend to read the book, but parents of young children my gain from hearing this interview.Before you attack one of the comment/notes, listen to that part of the podcast and think critically about why you want to say what you want to say….and thank you for that.


from the podcast….. Listen/watch the podcast HERE

Have America’s Classrooms Become Profit Centers for the Mental Health Industry?

Why does every child talk about having anxiety?

Why are our children swimming in mental health therapy?

1 in 4 young people identifying as trans. (Girls 7th grade).

Everybody needs therapy.

Everyone is broken.

A generation that is in profound distress.

The largest patient pool for mental health therapy are from the public schools. (CA)

Trams-informed care.

Every child has emotional damaged.

Instead of sending kids to the principal, they are now sent to the counselor.

Schools as a mental health ward.

SEL Social Emotional Learning  Trojan house.  Teachers are not therapists.

How are you feeling? Think of a time when (pain).

Trauma informed care.

Being born black means you’ve been traumatized.

Break the family

Over medicate children

If you wanted to break them down, there would be no better way than what is currently being taught in schools under the heading of mental health.

But… we have to keep them from suicide. How to find the line.

…the child who has never thought about it is forced to think about it.

…the child who HAS thought about it….

Does your child have a serious problem you cannot fix by changing their environment? If you cannot stabilize them that way, then yes. Therapist….but research the therapist the way you would research a surgeon.

Reset the default. Step 1 should not always be therapy and medication.

Some will need it and they should get it, but we are overreacting every child  creating mental disorder.

Hardship can be good for you. Certain kinds of adversity is really good for kids. Tell them the truth…that resilience is the story of the human condition. Most kids will emerge resilient. Tell them their parents went through hard things. Their grandparents went through hard things. Most will recover….a small percentage will really need professional help.

We don’t teach history so much as we’re teaching victim-hood. We don’t even teach them their own history. We need to connect them to their grandparents…what they went through. What their family, their ancestors went through.

You can get through it…because the vast majority will.

Feelings are always front and center. Being crushed under the weight of their own feelings.

PTSD traumatizing.

There are people who need help.

Kids need authority, community, independence. I can walk home from school… or to the store…or cook dinner.

I’m not shy. I have social depravity.

I’m not worried….i have anxiety.

Once you have anxiety, you need an expert to help you and you need a drug.

“You can’t say that. “

Disagreeable personality.

Don’t let someone diagnose them unless they really have a problem.

Terminology

SEL (Social Emotional Learning). Everything is a psychological program and requires  group (classroom) therapy.

Memory poker (as in the game). Group setting, kids trying to “1 up” each other. Exaggerating and talking yourself into the idea that you have been traumatized.

And all this is happening instead of academics.

Parentify. Parental abuse. Why do immigrant kids do so much better? Strong parenting. Chores and helping family and community are expected. Immigrant kids running toward adulthood and American kids staying home on mamas couch because they’ve been traumatized. The world is against them.

Trauma. There are traumatized kids, but we apply it to everyone.

There is a reason why we didn’t hear these terms as children.

Trust “Parenting expert”….only if he/she raised good kids to adulthood. Not a book learned only. Books by parenting experts who have never had children. (I remember thinking this way about the college professors in the Education School who had never been away from the college campus telling us how to teach.

…and more.

Are America’s Classrooms profit centers for the Mental Health Industry? Read More »

Carefully consider your financial support

donationsDonations

I made two very small political donations to out-of-my-district candidates I couldn’t vote for, but whose positions I liked. Two complaints.

First, they make the $10-$20 donation process difficult as all the ‘defaults’ during the process are for a higher amount that automatically repeats monthly or quarterly. Ohhhhh, the lists those donations put me on. 

I also donated to PragerU, a cause and operation I support, even though I don’t benefit directly from all their children’s books and programming. I have watched and learned from several of their 5-minute videos on various topics and enjoy some of the interviews and programming shows they provide. I will probably donate to them again. But wow….do they ever have me on their list(s) now. Opportunities to support this cause or that one, to have my donation doubled or tripled (but only today)….. And they even use the USPS. 

Of course, we all know that if you click on something in Y-ville or F-whatchamacallit… that you are doomed for an almost never-ending onslaught of similar things to watch, read or support. 

The only entity I support significantly and regularly is my church and some of the specially targeted mission programs it supports. I won’t get into the thousands of missionaries or of the emergency services and help in times of disaster and for people in need — because that is not my main focus of this post. 

Just today (so far) and it is not even noon yet…. I have been asked to support, via email, text, and the tentacles of social media:

  • both presidential candidates (one just wants $1, yeah right). But today, not tomorrow.
  • both vice presidential candidates “if I can afford it”
  • a senator, who “for less than a cup of Joe – just $5” will make the senate his political color
  • PragerU
  • Daily Wire
  • Israel

Not today (yet), but I periodically hear from:

  • my university (I do enjoy the student callers)…
  • my university’s school of music – I even sent postcards to prospects on their behalf
  • My university’s philanthropic dept
  • several candidates (both major parties)

Newsmax (and others) want me to ‘vote’ or participate in a poll, but I’m confident those will lead to a donation opportunity. 

Recently, I received a letter with the return address of President Donald J. Trump. I was going to post it on Facebook (denied) on Instagram (denied) and X (denied). Maybe there really was something wrong with the way I took the pic….but that is why I did not include it in this post.

Most who offer audio or video podcasts advertise and also offer a subscription for a variety of benefits. There was one I really liked, but she stopped all “free” and went subscription only. I didn’t follow. But NOW… she’s back. 

I use Unroll Me app to reduce emails….somewhat successfully.

Sending “STOP” on texts is a joke. That just confirms the number and adds me to to other lists. 

If you donate everything away, will the government replace it? 

What’s your story? How do you avoid/reduce them? Or can you? Advice appreciated. Attackers not.

 

Carefully consider your financial support Read More »

Never block a fire truck

Fire trucks getting through
Parking on both sides makes the middle narrow.

I was coming down the one-way street where we live. There is parking on both sides, but that doesn’t leave much room. Years ago, when I had a conversion van, I managed to take off someone’s mirror with mine. (Yes, I dealt with it.)

On this particular trip, in addition to normal cars parked, I encountered a lawn service truck, an Amazon van, a City Truck and one collecting trash…and I barely made it through with my car. I commented in a post that a fire truck wouldn’t make it and was reminded of a couple of Dad’s firetruck stories and events, one courtesy of my sister.

What happens when you block a fire truck?

Fire trucks
Backdraft, a realistic presentation of real fire fighting

The movie, ‘Backdraft’ fascinated me. Dad was a 32-yr veteran firefighter in a full-time city department that had about ten “houses” around town. He was one of three “Chiefs”. He said “Backdraft” was pretty accurately done. I asked about the scene where there is a car parked in front of the hydrant and they break the windows and take the hose through the car.

“We would probably just use the truck to push the car out of the way. The car would be a wreck, but don’t put your car between my truck and our getting to a fire.”

Fire trucks
Dad’s “Company 1” Fire House, @ 1975
Long driveway attracts speeding drivers during the school day
Problematic long driveway at Holmes High School.
Entrance Gate Holmes High School
Entrance gate to Holmes High School. What you can’t see are the iron-works gates that matched the fencing to the right.

What happened when they blocked my Dad’s fire trucks?

Close to that in real life that involved Dad and his trucks happened at my high school around 1980 when my sister was a sophomore. There is a long driveway through the school and at times they would have problems with people speeding through there during school. On one particular day, someone chained shut the large ironworks gate. They weren’t supposed to do that, I’m sure, but those drivers and that long driveway could be disturbing and a safety concern.

There was a fire alarm and Dad was on duty.

When the trucks arrived at the school, they encountered the locked main gate. Guess what they did?

Dad never talked about that story, but sister tells me she remembers faculty talking about the Fire Department “busting the gates down”.

Never block a fire truck Read More »

3 days in the U.S.S.R.

Russian Ruble from 1972

In the Fall of 1971, I received an invitation to participate in the United States Collegiate Wind Band, which would tour Europe and the USSR in the summer of 1972. Two from my school were invited. We both turned it down.

Word got to the local newspaper that I had been invited. A bank contributed half the amount and there was a drive to raise the other half. There was a picture of me in full Holmes MB uniform in the paper. Because I delivered newspapers, the headline was for a Newspaper Boy invited to travel to Europe and USSR.

It was a three-week tour. I flew out of the Cincinnati airport to New York, where I met the directors and staff. Professor Al G. Wright, Director of Bands at Purdue University, and his wife Gladys were the directors. The staff member responsible for woodwinds was Diana Hawkins, daughter of the Director of Bands at Morehead State University.

There were approximately 120 in the band, representing 26 states. Towards the beginning of the rehearsal process, we had auditions and I was appointed 1st Chair Clarinet.

Tour Stops

BRUSSELS and ANTWERP, Belgium

LONDON, England

PARIS, France

COPENHAGEN, Denmark

ZURICH and LUCERNE, Switzerland

MOSCOW, U.S.S.R.


Moscow, U.S.S.R.

1976 was in the “Detente” time between the US and USSR. We were a token of that effort.

It was a tense trip for us. Keep in mind that the Cuban missile crisis was only nine years old and the arms race was in full force (until the ’72 treaty).

We were to depart from a Swiss airport for the 4-hr flight to Moscow, arriving in the early evening. It wasn’t until we arrived at the Swiss airport that we learned the Soviets had decided we would fly in on one of their Aeroflot jets, which didn’t leave Moscow until they confirmed that we were waiting. That 4-hr wait plus the 4-hr flight ensured our arrival in the middle of the night, when no one would see us. Not an accident, I’m sure.

We did not pull up to the large, impressive airport terminal, stopping instead a fair distance from it. Our welcome included two busses, which pulled up alongside the planes, and two armed guards (rifles) standing at attention at the doors. We were instructed to deplane and get on the busses. “Your luggage will be taken to the hotel for you.” Not only did that prevent our entrance into the airport terminal for baggage claim, but it also gave them a few hours with our luggage.

The bus ride to the city was annoying and uncomfortable. Each time the manual transmission bus would get up to speed, the driver would shut off the engine and we would coast…. then as the speed decreased to a near stop, he would pop the clutch for a jerky engine restart and then repeat the cycle.

We were greeted warmly at the hotel and treated to some amazing food as they prepared us for our “orientation”, which also delayed our hotel check-in. Unlike our other stops, when we normally had at least half a day to ourselves and to explore the city we were visiting, the Soviet guides said we could not leave the hotel. The reason, “The Soviet people do not speak English and if you get lost, they won’t be able to help you get back.”

When we finally got our luggage, organized neatly and alphabetically for us, we discovered they had removed all the souvenir luggage stickers from the previously visited countries. There was no way to replace all that, and there was little doubt our luggage had been searched.

In most of the countries, we would get a “continental” breakfast (a roll and drink), were on our own for lunch, and then would get a good evening meal. In Moscow, we were fed multiple-course meals three times daily with some lasting two hours, leaving less time for sight-seeing. I tasted caviar for the first time there.

We never traveled by foot. As we bus toured the city, we kept seeing weird vending machines. Customers would take the community glass and put it over a nozzle for rinsing. Then they would dispense what looked like beer, stand there to drink it, then set the glass down for the next person standing in line. When we asked our guide we were told that “those are soft drink machines”. We concluded the machines were dispensing beer.

They took us to Moscow University, a huge, modern campus, and told us that college is free in the U.S.S.R.

We went to the pre-revolution section of “Old Moscow” to view poorly maintained buildings. “This is what Russia was like before the revolution“.

At a huge cathedral we heard, “Unlike what you hear in your country, there are 55 operating churches in Moscow“.

As we toured, we were constantly instructed when we could and could not take pictures.

Lenin’s Tomb was impressive and unique. The line to get in was very long. A married couple, still in wedding garb, was escorted to the front of the line. What an honor. Inside the tomb was extremely cold, dimly lit, and had a soldier every few feet. No talking. No cameras. And the main attraction……the actual body in a glass casket.

We were in Red Square, a huge area somewhat like a brick version of the National Mall in Washington DC, when we saw someone fleeing a group of soldiers. The soldiers released a dog. We’ve all seen videos of well-trained police dogs taking down and “holding” a criminal. Nope. Not this dog. We were too scared to take a picture. I did get one of some soldiers who were unhappy to have a picture taken by a teenager with a US Flag patch on his touristy shirt.

This was a music tour and we gave concerts before huge crowds everywhere we went. There was one town in Switzerland where they built us a stage in the town square and literally shut the town down so everyone could come. People wanted to hear us, meet us, talk to us, touch us, get autographs and pictures…. we were treated like famous guests everywhere, except in Moscow.

The Moscow concert was in an old building with a stage so small part of the ensemble had to set up on the floor and a pathetic audience of about 50. The explanation: “Everyone in Moscow has a job and you are giving a concert on a workday.”

Even the departure was eventful. In every country, we would exchange currency and try to end up with souvenirs. Our guides emphatically told us it was illegal to “smuggle” Soviet currency out of the country. I put a Ruble inside a chewing gum wrapper inside a reed box inside my clarinet case. Things got interesting as we were in the lobby of the airport preparing to board our Aeroflot plane when a group of people arrived and started physically searching us. I heard coins hitting the floor. That process took an uncomfortably long time…..enough that the plane was late for departure.

They wouldn’t allow us to leave until our director signed a document that we were late arriving.

Switzerland: Zurich and Lucerne

We spent nearly an entire week in Switzerland, a beautiful country with mountainous views. And the town of Lucerne went all out for us, building a stage in the town square and basically shutting down so everyone could come to the concert. They were friendly and appreciative. I bought my mother a small swiss cuckoo clock.

Paris, France

Paris was one of our final stops and I was running out of money. Our concert jackets were pretty fancy and we would be approached by “artists” who would draw or cut a caricature and then try to sell it to us. They expected us to purchase and I recall one angry artist pointing to my jacket when I tried to explain I didn’t have the money for his art.

London, England

I enjoyed the history a lot. I’ve always loved British pomp and pageantry.

3 days in the U.S.S.R. Read More »

Valentine’s Day Stress and Teens

By John Gardner

valentineThis time of year can be stressful for those romantically attached, hoping to become, casually dating, good plutonic friends or single not by preference. I understand widowed or divorced, too…. but this post targets mostly high schoolers. If you have it all figured out, STOP HERE!

Valentine’s Day Stress and Teens Read More »

From the River To The Sea

When you hear “from the river to the sea”….yes, that is what God promised… from the wilderness (Egypt) to Lebanon and from the Euphrates (Jordan) River to the Mediterranean Sea… “will be yours” and “no one will be able to stand against you”. -Deut 11:24-25 This map of the tribes of Israel pre-date anything called Palestine. The Al-Aqsa Mosque is built on top of a Jewish Temple. So who was there first? Yes, Israel conquered the land….but what land is there anywhere on earth that has not been conquered? China, maybe??

From the river to the sea

From the River To The Sea Read More »