Showed up on my Igram today. She was a teacher, a Christian, fired by her district…..but in the end, she won. Teachers should listen. PARENTS…. listen to her tell of direct instruction to lie to parents. Scary.
California’s Jurupa Unified School District has agreed to pay $360,000 to settle a wrongful termination lawsuit after public school teacher Jessica Tapia claimed the district violated her First Amendment rights when it fired her for not adhering to gender-affirming school policies. May 20, 2024
UPDATE: This pic is from @2016. I retired in 2020, but I still like this pic and believe the point I am making.
I worked with teens for years. I thrive on their youthful enthusiasm. I have always believed that if you show them that you really care about them as an individual, and treat them with dignity and respect, that they will give it to you in return. Can you see that in this pic?
I did not include this story in my “Stories Through My Ages” Memoir for multiple reasons. It is difficult to explain and it makes ME look kinda, ummmmm, well, you’ll see.
I gave a copy of my book to three former bosses and one of them called to specifically suggest I add two stories, of which this is one.
In my first year teaching at the local high school, it was my assignment to turn out the stadium lights and lock the complex following evening marching band rehearsals there. These lights were the older mercury style that would flicker on and take 2-3 minutes to reach full brightness. Turning them on/off required the use of my master key to open a room under the stadium, taking a special forked key to insert into a switch box where the switch itself was internal and invisible. All done by feel. Easy peasy.
After one of my earlier times at this task, I switched the lights off, stepped outside to confirm, locked up the room and the gates, and returned across the highway and down the long drive to reach Door 34.
As I got out of my car, I could see the stadium lights ablaze. Confused, and not wanting to admit I couldn’t turn out the lights, I got back in my car, unlocked the stadium gate, drove to the under-stadium room, unlocked it, took the magic key, and turned out the lights (again). I stepped out of the room and, yes, the lights were out. I repeated the exit routine and went back to the band room.
Several minutes later, as we left the high school, Mr. Campbell and I were walking toward our cars when he asked,
“Didn’t you turn out the lights?”
I did. But, again, they were brightly on. He suggested I go back and try again, and then meet him at Wendy’s to get a Frosty, from where we could observe that the lights stayed out. Done. And done.
On another such night, when we didn’t notice, the police called the Athletic Director to tell him the stadium lights were on. He understood what was happening and explained it in such a way it would not happen again.
As it “turns out”, when I thought I was turning out the lights, I was not getting the internal switch to the ‘off’ position. So, in breaking the circuit, the lights did what they were supposed to do — cool down and then re-ignite. So, from the time I switched off, it might be several minutes later that they were back on.
Once I understood I needed a harder “click”, it never happened again. That stadium and those lights are gone. The new stadium has LED lighting that can be flickered in patterns when the team scores a touchdown.
NOTE: I was teaching when I wrote this. I have since retired, so rather than go through and edit what I am doing with what I did do, I’ll just put this disclaimer out there so you know.
Adults who are afraid of teenagers or who feel like teens of today are nothing like those from their day (adults have been saying that forever, right?) ….. or who think the quality of teens is crumbling….. should come hang out with the teens I get to spend time with.
As a teacher, I can’t use the “love” word, must avoid the “creepy” label (they DO use that word too much), have to be careful how I compliment the way someone looks, and often settle for handshakes and high fives when a good pat on the back or a hug seems so much more appropriate for the circumstance …. but I thoroughly enjoy my time on the school clock. I LOVE the youthful enthusiasm. I ADMIRE their dreams, goals, and aspirations. And I RESPECT those who make the best of their circumstances as they strive for excellence. I am all about encouraging achievers because they allow me into their lives. I “love” this job AND these teens.
My response to the parent who asked recently, “How do you put up with a room FULL of teenagers?” is “I feel sorry for those who DON’T get to experience a room FULL of teenagers.”
Some of the “types” of teens I admire….
I admire teens who thrive because of their parents…
Band students have complicated schedules that can challenge parental patience. There is the expense of instruments and extras (reeds, valve oil, drum sticks) — not to mention private lessons, summer camps, etc. Vacations get adjusted and, especially until the teen can drive, there are countless trips to drop off and pick up.
Some parents sacrifice soooo much in time, energy and money so that their teen can focus on being a better student, athlete, musician, academic or whatever. But all of that is for naught if the teen doesn’t take advantage of it. I admire teens who appreciate what they have and commit themselves to “getting their parents’ money’s worth”.
I admire teens who thrive in spite of their parents.
I was outside Door 34 prior to a rehearsal when she jumped out of the car and ran up to me, crying and wiping tears from her eyes, “G… I’m sorry…..I’m so sorry.” As she ran off into the building I got the impact of her emotion when I saw the approaching papa angrily waving a copy of our schedule.
“How much of this is mandatory?”, he asked angrily
“All of it.”, I responded quietly.
He huffed and puffed and returned to his car. When I walked into the band office, the daughter was waiting for me, tears streaming….wanting to know that I was okay after an encounter with her father. She needed a hug, and I gave her one.
Additional random examples….
“We’re going to pull our son out of band…..his room is a mess.”
“I can’t come to band today. I’m grounded and part of my punishment is whatever consequence I get from you for not being here.”
” He really loves band…..which is why this has to be part of his punishment.”
“She can’t major in color guard in college….so there is no point in the expense for her to be in this activity.”
“My parents took my band card money and my paycheck money. What do I do?”
“Here’s my paycheck to pay you back for letting me go to Disney. I will be able to pay you back from my job over the next three months.” (And did.)
“I have to stop taking private lessons because my dad says if I have money to waste on music lessons that I can pay rent.”
“G, I just got kicked out of my house.”
“Why are you telling my kid (s)he needs extra money for music lessons? Aren’t you the teacher? Why don’t you do what you’re getting paid for?”
“Why should I buy another [instrument]? I bought the one they told me to buy when (s)he started.”
Some of the most determined to succeed band students have parents I never meet. I understand busy and I understand the struggles of single parenthood (there were five kids in my single parent home) and it can be hard….yes, it can be hard. But it is sad sometimes to watch students try not to show disappointment when the parent is not there…. just sayin’.
I admire students who, despite the potential negatives of their circumstances…..are determined to succeed…..
Joan suggested I respond to a post with a similar story… (shortened for this post). MY experience follows.
From David Bloss, Level 3 contributor in “Band” group.
“My small town HS in northern Oklahoma had a combined middle & high school band. I estimate the student population was around 300. We had 84 in the band (drum major and 2 twirlers for marching … ”
MY EXPERIENCE
Four days before graduation from the University of Kentucky, I was hired for my first teaching job. I went from a community of nearly 100K (Covington, KY) and an inner-city jr/sr high school (Holmes) of 2000+ — to a community of about 1000 (Pekin, IN) and a jr/sr high school (Eastern) population of under 400….. and no football team.
I somehow survived the culture shock and am grateful to have learned so much from that community. When I got stuck in the snow, no one drove past without getting out to help. When I drove a bandster home from rehearsal, I was expected to accept eggs from their chicken house. But, I also learned those teens were hard-working, talented, committed, and thrived at an opportunity to prove themselves to other communities….to me…..and to themselves.
I was befriended and mentored by an amazing artist (Richard Trueblood) who was my only outside staffer, although I don’t think we ever paid him — my ignorance. He did amazing things with our guard and together we created and taught winning choreography.
I was only there four years. Band grew from 39 (with 8th graders) to 93 with only grades 9-12, including 18 flags and 6 rifles….
In KY, we competed in “Band Size” competitions, which put us against large schools. When we could compete in “School Size” competitions, our band was normally 2-3x the size of our competitors.
We had a good run, receiving lots of guard, other caption and top placement awards. At the State Level, we were in Class C (there was no Class D at the time) and ranked 4th twice. Last year, that same school won 1st place in the small division in Scholastic Class, which also did not exist during my tenure.
She was a new student who transferred in. I needed to listen to her so I could place her. I had never seen color-coded keys and it gave a good reason to have a nice get-to-know-you conversation. She said her band teacher labeled all their clarinetists’ keys like this. It was a nice horn.
Wow! I’ve spent my whole teaching career explaining the fingerings and expecting students to get it.
I HAVE had students label all their music notes. I didn’t allow it if I knew about it…..explaining that they were going to encounter more notes than they were going to be able to label.
btw I wonder if that teacher labeled trumpets or trombones.
author of “Bad Therapy: Why the Kids Aren’t Growing Up”
I periodically listen to interviews conducted by Marissa Streit, a former classroom teacher. The title of this one caught my eye so I listened. As I did, I noted down some near quotes that I hear. These are not polished…. but give you an idea of the discussion. I didn’t agree with everything said, in particular, the parts about allowing children to walk home alone from school (or have I been affected by the hype?)…. But she kinda answers a thought I’ve had….. Why did we not have these problems, at least as pronounced, when we were kids? I don’t ever remember ‘mental health, PTSD and therapy being nearly as prominent as they seem today. I don’t intend to read the book, but parents of young children my gain from hearing this interview.Before you attack one of the comment/notes, listen to that part of the podcast and think critically about why you want to say what you want to say….and thank you for that.
Have America’s Classrooms Become Profit Centers for the Mental Health Industry?
Why does every child talk about having anxiety?
Why are our children swimming in mental health therapy?
1 in 4 young people identifying as trans. (Girls 7th grade).
Everybody needs therapy.
Everyone is broken.
A generation that is in profound distress.
The largest patient pool for mental health therapy are from the public schools. (CA)
Trams-informed care.
Every child has emotional damaged.
Instead of sending kids to the principal, they are now sent to the counselor.
Schools as a mental health ward.
SEL Social Emotional LearningTrojan house.Teachers are not therapists.
How are you feeling? Think of a time when (pain).
Trauma informed care.
Being born black means you’ve been traumatized.
Break the family
Over medicate children
If you wanted to break them down, there would be no better way than what is currently being taught in schools under the heading of mental health.
But… we have to keep them from suicide. How to find the line.
…the child who has never thought about it is forced to think about it.
…the child who HAS thought about it….
Does your child have a serious problem you cannot fix by changing their environment? If you cannot stabilize them that way, then yes. Therapist….but research the therapist the way you would research a surgeon.
Reset the default. Step 1 should not always be therapy and medication.
Some will need it and they should get it, but we are overreacting every childcreating mental disorder.
Hardship can be good for you. Certain kinds of adversity is really good for kids. Tell them the truth…that resilience is the story of the human condition. Most kids will emerge resilient. Tell them their parents went through hard things. Their grandparents went through hard things. Most will recover….a small percentage will really need professional help.
We don’t teach history so much as we’re teaching victim-hood. We don’t even teach them their own history. We need to connect them to their grandparents…what they went through. What their family, their ancestors went through.
You can get through it…because the vast majority will.
Feelings are always front and center. Being crushed under the weight of their own feelings.
PTSD traumatizing.
There are people who need help.
Kids need authority, community, independence. I can walk home from school… or to the store…or cook dinner.
I’m not shy. I have social depravity.
I’m not worried….i have anxiety.
Once you have anxiety, you need an expert to help you and you need a drug.
“You can’t say that. “
Disagreeable personality.
Don’t let someone diagnose them unless they really have a problem.
Terminology
SEL (Social Emotional Learning). Everything is a psychological program and requiresgroup (classroom) therapy.
Memory poker (as in the game). Group setting, kids trying to “1 up” each other. Exaggerating and talking yourself into the idea that you have been traumatized.
And all this is happening instead of academics.
Parentify. Parental abuse. Why do immigrant kids do so much better? Strong parenting. Chores and helping family and community are expected. Immigrant kids running toward adulthood and American kids staying home on mamas couch because they’ve been traumatized. The world is against them.
Trauma. There are traumatized kids, but we apply it to everyone.
There is a reason why we didn’t hear these terms as children.
Trust “Parenting expert”….only if he/she raised good kids to adulthood. Not a book learned only. Books by parenting experts who have never had children. (I remember thinking this way about the college professors in the Education School who had never been away from the college campus telling us how to teach.
In the high school where I taught, we were just beginning to work on Africa: Ceremony, Song and Ritual. It was an incredible piece of music written to display some of the beauty and complexity of African music and drumming.
I have two “racist”-related stories to go with our preparation of this piece. The first happened several years ago when I invited (and then had to un-invite) an area African drumming group to come to our school to lead a Master Class for our students and open our concert. That will be for another post.
More recently, as part of our discussion and preparation, I spoke with the class about how African drums are considered “sacred” and that we would treat this music and our performance of it with that type of respect.
As part of that discussion, I spoke a little of my son’s study abroad experience during his undergraduate work at Duke University, when he spent a summer in Ghana. He was one source of telling me how reverently the Gananians treated the drumming instruments. He also told me the exceptional level of respect they gave “white people”, especially men.
He stepped over some local cultural norms when he insisted on helping with the food preparation and in washing his own clothes. It should be noted that the home where he stayed was considered one of a “nobleman” from the area.
Not comfortable with the female servants doing his laudry, David tried to do his own. The best he could get was for them to let him help them.
“Everyone wanted their picture taken with the white guy, and they wanted hugs. When I went to church, they would always set me on the front row, if not on the platform itself.” -David Gardner
What really sparked the shocked response was when I told this class (mostly white with a small hispanic component) about my son’s experience in a Drumming Circle, where several of the students from his trip participated. The comment that the drumming leader made (multiple times) was that….
“You all are playing like a bunch of WHITE PEOPLE.”
I got a noticeable gasp of disbelief and shock when I shared that quote. I explained that this was not something a white person said, but rather was a critical statement made by a Gananian African about how non-Africans were playing his instruments.
I was not trying to be or show any form of racial disrespect, but rather, to use a quote from someone who should know the instrument….. Incident averted.
Teen years can be trying times. Parents may be fighting, separating, dating and remarrying, which means the teen now has to not only deal with a break up of a foundation in his/her life, but often now has to live in multiple households. Some have to adjust to step-siblings, job losses, financial struggles and more.
Then, there are the complexities of school with seemingly unending pressures to perform, trying to get through the dating games, often without an anchor or example to follow. Influenced by increasingly negative social standards, or lack of standards….. teens can get caught in the rise and falling tides.
Most learn how to negotiate life’s trying currents, but can turn the wrong way, make a miscalculation or poor decision — and find themselves high and dry on the beach…..and they need help. Not every student needs, wants or will accept a teacher’s help. Sometimes the teacher’s effort is both unappreciated and unsuccessful.
Teens will listen if they respect and trust. Trust is one of the most valuable mentoring requirements.
In 7th grade, attending a band clinic at Morehead State University, I made the definite decision that I wanted to be a band director. No one on either side of my family had been to college, so I was clueless in many aspects of what it would take.
My band director, James Copenhaver, pulled me aside one day to explain:
You want to be a band director. That means you’re going to need to go to college, but your family can’t pay for you to go (My parents were divorced and my polio-surviving mother was raising five children.)
Your grades are okay, but not good enough for academic scholarships. You’re not athletic, so that is out.
The best chance for you to get to college is to become good enough on that clarinet that by the time you graduate, a college will pay for you to come. You’ve got four years.
I did not include this story in my “Stories Through My Ages” Memoir for multiple reasons. It is difficult to explain and it makes ME look kinda, ummmmm, well, you’ll see.
Once I understood I needed a harder “click”, it never happened again. That stadium and those lights are gone. The new stadium has LED lighting that can be flickered in patterns when the team scores a touchdown. 
She was a new student who transferred in. I needed to listen to her so I could place her. I had never seen color-coded keys and it gave a good reason to have a nice get-to-know-you conversation. She said her band teacher labeled all their clarinetists’ keys like this. It was a nice horn.
